Kay Cannon, Stars Camila Cabello, Billy Porter, Idina Menzel
Comedy, Family, Fantasy
Rated: PG for suggestive material and language.
There have been 6 Cinderella films (if you count adaptations) before Amazon decided to yet again remake the classic story, this time giving it a musical twist that continues to twist until your head falls off. Yes, this may not be the nightmarish hells-cape that 2019’s ‘Cats’ is, but it’s offensive for completely different reasons that make it the worst musical this year.
There is an effort– on the actor’s part to at least attempt to salvage the wrecked ship that is ‘Cinderella’, but the lifeboats are long gone, and everyone is just treading water on the screen. There are so many questions that I know will never have satisfying enough answers as to how this was made, so let’s quickly break down the biggest problems.
First the music. Every song is just a mashup of 2 popular songs, lip-synced INCREDIBLY poorly to the actors trying their best to remember what notes they hit on their runs when originally recording the track. The music choices may work based on the chorus of whatever song they are performing, but it serves no purpose to the story other than to be a recognizable song that you can already connect with, without having to connect with the one-note characters.
Much like ‘Cats’, I feel bad for any actor or person who had to work on this film and might have had hoped this would be the next big hit. I hope they all get opportunities to show audiences what they are truly capable of because director Kay Cannon didn’t do them any favors. Seeing the video of the cast blocking an intersection to sing “Turn the Beat Around”, while a Mouse-James Corden Hybrid aggressively pelvic thrusts at onlookers is the perfect metaphor for this film.
I could “dedi-cats” hours to why James Corden should stop producing and starring in musicals, but I’ll just say I can’t see his name tied to a musical and not think of it as a bad omen. Overall ‘Cinderella’ is not worth checking out. If you need your Cinderell-itch scratched I would recommend the Brandi version.