Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, John Cena
Yep, it’s the 9th one. We have finally gone full superhero mode in this once humble but now bombastic showcase of visual effects and epic car action. Dom and the crew are back with the addition of John Cena, playing Doms LITTLE brother Jacob. Jacob and Dom are in a head to head battle with new and old friends returning, including original Fast and Furious director Justin Lin.
I genuinely don’t know how to present my thoughts on this garbage fire franchise that I love so much. I can’t quite tell you why I enjoy watching these movies yet am fully aware of their flaws and ridiculousness. The car chases are always great, but the stories depending on what film you watch are hit or miss. After Furious 7, there was a real opportunity to end the saga in a way that felt satisfying to the fanbase. Sure, it would be a somber ending because of the way it needed to be concluded, but here we are, like ‘The Office’ two seasons after Michael Scott’s departure, and it just doesn’t feel like it has quite the spark that it did before.
The story of F9 is impossible to not laugh at. Like the magnets that are used in the film, they threw every single idea into the F9 pitch meeting and it feels like they all made it into the movie. Nothing has stakes, like the previous films, but NOW the characters are breaking the 4th wall and are aware of this. I loved these characters for their unawareness of how incredibly stupid these action sequences and fights were, but now that the film is in on the joke, It’s lost its humor and is now just lazy.
Lots of returning cast like I mentioned, but their handling of Brian and Mia post Furious 7 is pretty insulting. It almost seems like the film is daring us to let them bring in a completely digital Brian for F 10 and honestly if that happens I will have called it now. The dialogue, the villains, the action, it all feels recycled from previous installments aside from one or two set pieces.
But all this being said… I’m still watching F10, and I didn’t have a horrible time watching F9. I know, these films are absurd and are only getting worse. I watch these movies for the same reason I watch 90 Day Fiancè, Real Housewives, or any other Reality TV. Because it’s entertaining garbage. If you love the same type of filth I do, then let’s get into the pigpen, and roll around in some F9 together.